I met her in a club down in Mississip
Where the air, it reeks of defeat, stale beer and psychosis
P-s-y-chosis
She walked up to me and said “Gimme a kiss”
I thought “What the heck” but she had re-pulsive halitosis
H-a-l-itosis
H-h-holy Moses!!

A week later and I'm meeting her dad
He's got a hunchback, limp and a bad case of scoliosis
S-c-something-osis
A b-bad prognosis

Well she drinks moonshine, likes picking fights
She thinks that I am Mr Right
She's packing heat, some major weaponry
She said “Little boy, don't you try leaving me!”

Well I'm now the world's most miserable guy
But I can somehow get by, coz I've learned about self hypnosis
Hyp-hyp-hyp-hypnosis, hyp-hyp-hyp-hypnosis
Toes-esshe's got thirteen toes-es!
And liver cirrhosis...

I tried to escape
She bolted the door
Knocked me to the floor
And broke both of my knees
Then she told me she's seen “Misery”

To my dismay, four more kids on the way
And I've found out that her brother is gaybought me roses
R-r-r-r-roses!!
Eleven boys and eleven girls
Betty-Jo, Floyd, Britney, Boyd, Cletus, Merle
I never chose this!! Ch-ch-ch-ch-chose this.

I've been shacked up for 10 years or more
And all coz I really really wanted to score
I'd run a mile if I had half a chance
But my “new” bride's confiscated my pants!!

Well I'm now the world's most downtrodden man
And moonshine I've ran coz I'm part of the clan
Its symbiosis
That's my diagnosis
As the curtain closes

Otis! My new name is Otis.oh-oh-oh-oh-Otis