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Song Parodies -> "Trekkers"

Original Song Title:

"Echoes"

Original Performer:

Pink Floyd

Parody Song Title:

"Trekkers"

Parody Written by:

Porfle Popnecker

The Lyrics

I tried to make this funny at first, but it ended up being all serious and pretentious.
Overhead the Enterprise is orbiting in outer space
And high above the atmosphere in circumstances so severe
The trekkers of a distant world
On impulse power through the void
And everything is cold and eons old

The navigator steers the course
His brave companion at the helm
But someone tries to overwhelm
And fires a beam across the bow

Starships clashing in the dark
A needless conflict, rashly sparked
'Tween we of Earth and they from otherwhere
And do I have the time to pause
Convince them of our peaceful cause
Or blast them into atoms if I can

And so we raise our shields to full
And fire our phasers through their hull
And beam an armed away team hence
A fierce offense to end it all

Brilliant is the light that shimmers through my weary frame
Exhorting and transporting me aflame
And through the dust of battle won comes beaming in on ion waves
A million energizers of ascension

And no one made a friend today
And no one looked the other way
And so we have new battle scars
To mark our path across the stars

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   1
 0
 1
 
 5   7
 7
 7
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Old Man Ribber - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Porfle - A good job that in no way violates the Prime Directive. (I'm no Trekkie, but it helps to know a bit of the language...lol). ;D
Porfle Popnecker - September 05, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, I've been rewatching my Star Trek DVDs all week so I've kinda got Trek on the brain.
Agrimorfee - September 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Epic...like if Waters/Gilmour were Kirk/Spock. 555
Porfle Popnecker - September 06, 2011 - Report this comment
Only now it would be more like Kirk/Khan with those guys.
Matthias - September 06, 2011 - Report this comment
This one is pretty poetic. I'm sure Rex is going to love this one seeing that he's a huge Trekkie. Me however, I'm more of a Star Wars fan so I was lost a bit on this one.
Porfle Popnecker - September 07, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, I love STAR WARS too but TREK won me over years earlier when it first hit syndication. One episode and I was hooked!
Rex - September 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) We come in peace, but if that doesn't work we'll phaser your arse from here to the Gama quadrant. Don't know why, but the line "A million energizers of ascension" had me picturing a starship engine powered by a million Energizer rabbits. Some excellent writing, here.
Porfle Popnecker - September 10, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks! I don't know what would be worse, a starship engine overrun by rabbits or tribbles.
Blaydeman - September 16, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I never really got into Star Trek, so I too was lost on some references, but I still followed pretty well. Good job.
Porfle Popnecker - September 17, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, Blaydeman.
Below Average Dave - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Let me start by welcoming you to Artistry. . .this original song is one of Pink Floyd's oddest, but it played well into your theme. Your pacing, I am not sure if it was the stressing, or the extreme changes on rhyme scheme that you did, but it was hard to follow for me, I got lost a couple of times against the dragging original song. I am enough of a Star Trek fan to have gotten it, and while I agree with your opening statement, all in all this one had its moments, I am just going to make one recommendation and that is to be less extreme on rhyme scheme changes. . .it can be difficult to follow a song that changes the rhyme scheme so much that it no longer resembles the original at all. Not to mention, it can make your parody lose some of the charm that made the original so good. . .but take that only as its intended, personal opinion, feel free to ignore it or use it as you wish:)
Porfle Popnecker - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks for the comments and the welcome! Actually I tried to follow the odd rhyme scheme pretty closely, but with the more familiar lyrics of the OS it sounds less jarring than the new ones.
bobpiecheese - September 20, 2011 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Note to self: watch Star Trek someday. Not that I didn't understand the parody (I'm on the Internet, I pick up bits and pieces of pop culture that I missed all the time), but it's just something I want to do. Great parody here, even if it wasn't exactly funny. Not that that's a bad thing, it's interesting to see a serious parody every once in a while. 555!
Porfle Popnecker - September 21, 2011 - Report this comment
Thanks, bob! Have fun getting into Star Trek!
Lifeliver - September 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Sorry I missed this. I'm no Trekkie but I can see this is very well crafted, to your usual standards. The OS lines lengthen in the final verse and that seemed to throw off some readers. I wonder how many took the time and trouble to follow it. If they did they would be rewarded with that extended middle section groove, quintessential Floyd.
Porfle Popnecker - September 26, 2012 - Report this comment
Thanks, your comments are much appreciated!

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