"the problem is all inside your gut" she said to me
"I think it's high-time you thought to take up dieting
I'd like to help you shed some weight and earn money
so you have 50 Days To Lose Your Blubber"

she said "you've really got bad habits with your food
four or more supreme burritos will cause gassy noises rude
so let's just place a bet do ya think you'll make it dude?
'cause you've got 50 Days To Lose Your Blubber"
50 Days To Lose My Blubber

I'll just cut out the snacks Jack
quit eatin' ham Sam
I'll stop thinkin' of poi Roy
and win some money
trim down my butt/gut
though I'll feel like in a rut
willpower's my key see?
to some free money

I'll cut out the snacks Jack
quit eatin' ham Sam
I'll stop thinkin' of poi Roy
more moola for me
trim down my butt/gut
though I'll feel like in a rut
willpower's my key see?
to some free money

but now it grieves me so my stomach's in such pain
I wish there was something I could eat to make me smile again
she said "fruits & veggies no fat
at least that is your way for the next 50 days"

Dear Lord I don't know how I'll make it through the night
in Walmart's bakery I'm craving every piece of cake in sight
it shares the aisle with the produce my luck is really shiite
I still have 50 Days To Lose My Blubber
50 Days To Lose My Blubber

I'll just cut out the snacks Jack
quit eatin' ham Sam
I'll stop thinkin' of poi Roy
and win some money
trim down my butt/gut
though I'll feel like in a rut
willpower's my key see?
to some free money

but I want Lays Stax
I'm cravin' ham Sam
and I need an Almond Joy
buy one get one free
though they'll grow my gut
oh Good God I need donuts!
a burger with cheese please
and screw the money!