Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "I Am, I Think"

Original Song Title:

"I Am, I Said"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Neil Diamond

Parody Song Title:

"I Am, I Think"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

Captain's Log, Stardate 2005.203: Spock got very introspective today. I had to remind him of the old saying: When discussing the history of human philosophy, remember to put Horace before Descartes.
Spock: Earth is fine, but sometimes it's asinine.
They are logically sway-backed.
Tempers fly, emotions high
and when I lecture them
they're thinking of some payback.

I was Vulcan born and Vulcan raised
but nowadays I'm lost between two worlds.
Earth is nice, but it seems slow.
Vulcan, lo, I miss it, guys and girls.

"I am, I think"
I said, no joy
and no one heard at all
not even McCoy.

"I think, by damn,
therefore, I am!"
And I am lost in space
with just e-mail spam
leaving me lonely still.

Data: Did you ever read about a kid who was made out of old wood
and became a real boy?
Well, that old story matches mine in many kinds of ways
but I cannot feel joy.

I have got perfect circuits deep inside.
I have tried to act human in this zone.
Though I think faster than any man
as a fake man, it would appear I am alone.

I am, I think.
It is not hard.
And no one heard at all
not even Picard.

"I think, by damn,
therefore, I am!"
And I am lost in space
with just e-mail spam.

I am, I think.
It is not hard.
And no one heard at all
not even Picard.

"I think, by damn,
therefore, I am!"
And I am lost in space
with just e-mail spam.

(fade out)
The tricky part was Data's: I didn't remember that he can't use contractions.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.9
How Funny: 3.9
Overall Rating: 3.9

Total Votes: 7

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   2
 2
 2
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Johnny D - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
As the Cogitos go, yours is Ergo than Sum.
alvin rhodes - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
highly logical...5s
Royce Miller - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
I enjoyed this alot, Michael, blunt skull though I am (as Baldar Conehead would say).
Ravyn Rant - February 03, 2005 - Report this comment
Okay, I'm a sucker for just about any ST parody, but this one is better than many. Thanks!

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/neildiamond66.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1189