Scribblin' a postcard
From the hotel bar
Tellin' the folks of lessons I've learned
Guzzlin' my Mezcal
Missin' my best gal
All this rush to be nibblin' the worm

Wastin' my stay again in Montezumaville
Perchin' o'er a pot, achin' and blue
Stumbling, I claim that it's the water to blame
But I know it could be the booze

Munchin' on tacos
Tauntin' muchachos
Started to churn, had to head for the room
I chugged a whole bottle
Of pink Pepto-Bismol
Seekin' a cure for all of my gloom

Pasty and gray again in Montezumaville
Lurchin' forth, my tossed cookies are strewed
Crumbling, I claim that it's the sewage to blame
Then I think, "Hell, it could be the food"

[Instrumental break]

I crashed on my Moto
Trashed a DeSoto
Can't get laid, but I have an excuse
If by noon I got lucky
It soon would get yucky
Because my caboose is as loose as a goose

Chaste and dismayed again in Montezumaville
Hurtin', sore and cross, shakin' and tense
Dumbly I came to score a woman of shame
And I know I've got no damn sense

Yet, I'd come here again, I'm getting used to the pain
And I know I've got no damn sense