In a little while from now,
You will feel the instrument's power--
Enough power to propel
The conductor off his tower.
He'll climb back to the top
And dust himself off.

It was Alex, in "Clockwork Orange," who,
In talking to two teenage slatterns,
Used imagery that came from the church.
And what he was saying:
God's music comes through the trumpet--
"Come on, girls, hear angel
Trumpets." And trombones?
Trombones come in, infernally.

To sum up: Alex meant to say
That when the trombones do play,
It is devil's music that's coming through.

But I hear it another way:
When the loud sound knocks me down
And I rebound from the ground
And then dust myself off, I am touched
By imagery of pre-feces.
As the air comes out,
It's got clout and shows no mercy.
Although it won't cause you to whiff,
The sound's truly scourgy.
Like a post-bean feed,
It can cause ears to bleed.
Trombones come in flatulently.

That flatulent BLAT
Sounds like a fart
That can shake the world,
When a rear end is
Briefly distended.

Hear that C he blew?
It sound "flat" to you?

(Infernal wind break)

If a trombone I'm 'bout to hear,
I search for some plugs for my ears,
But when he slips the slide, some noise gets inside
And I am nearly moved to tears
Because I cannot control
What penetrates the earholes.

It's called an "entrance" when the trombone man
Or woman commences playing.
But sound departs and sounds like farts.
Have they misspoken?
I think the terminology
Is badly broken
And what we need to say
Is "exit," when it plays.
Trombone blows wind flatulently.