A long long time ago, somewhere out in the USA
A little boy set up a tiger snare
He put me out some tuna bread, so I the trapped tiger would be fed
He'd let me loose and out of the air
When he brought me home, I ate a lot
I stayed with him so I wouldn't get shot
He showed around his bedroom and told me about his father's doom
He took in me for show and tell
Although his teacher was a thing from hell
Inside class the boy would yell
I don't agree with him

Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's my playtoy
And his good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"
"Being mild-mannered is a joy"

Did you know his table manners
Would disgust everyone, even the salmon canners
He believes his food is bad
Do you see him having fights with mom?
She won't let him drive cause he's so dumb
And he's making polls for a new dad
Well, I know he hates to have his baths
And attending school is his #1 wrath
He gets an F in all subjects, but studying he objects to
He wants to stay inside and watch TV
And Spaceman Spiff is his best imagery
And he's already excited on Christmas eve
I love to be with him

His parents are singin'
Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's our playtoy
And us good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"
"Being-mild mannered is a joy"

Now when the new girl came into his class
His attitude towards her was very crass
She only wanted to be his friend
We set up the club Get Rid Of Slimy girlS
And we wore hats that weren't made of pearls
And we'd make her happiness to come an end
We kidnapped her stupid doll but she didn't pay the ransom at all
In fact she kidnapped me and then later I would see
That boy and girl had a great big fight
But it wasn't such a grusome sight
Both boy and girl had seen the light
I now approve of him

That girl is singin'
Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's my playtoy
And his good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"
"Being-mild mannered is a joy"

His babysitter is his night's pitters
She sends him to bed at 6 and has got the bitters
No TV, no horsing around
The school bully is so ugly and cruel
Beating innocent kids is against the rule
But his mind if so profound
But when Stupendous Man comes to call
He's never won a battle at all
His mom made the cape and hood
And she may take them away for good
He's always had plans to fly like a bird
Plans like that are so absurd
He wants to successfully make some clones
Cause he can't do his work alone
His batch of dupes were bad to the bone
I'd sure hate to be him

And we're all singin'
Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's our playtoy
And his good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"
"Being-mild mannered is a joy"

Oh and what about his dinosaurs?
He walks around the house making really loud roars
He reads a lot of books on them
Making eccentric snowmen is another habit
Many neighbors just can't grab it but fallen snow is his main gem
I love to attack him when he comes home
He's so dirty he looks like foam
His dad thinks he tossed me in the air
That's so insulting there
His father believes in character-building suffering
Camping trips are his next offering
And it's so cold he starts coughering
I still will support him

People are singin'
Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's my playtoy
And his good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"
"Being-mild mannered is a joy"

We still spent time together
No matter what goes on or what's the weather
We agreed to be friends for life
An adventure on his wagon is really fun
Especially when it's out in the sun
He probably enjoyed it when he was only five
Now the boy is growing up and he can drink from a bigger cup
We buy each other presents
The two of us are pheasants
And the girl I admire most
Sent me a valentine and I'm gonna roast
All my friends are going to get a boast
I'll still be friends with him

And I am singin'
Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's my playtoy
And his good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"
"Being-mild mannered is a joy"

We are singin'
Oy, oy, this young 6-year old boy
He's a midget, such a gidget, but he's my playtoy
And his good old parents he sure loves to annoy
Saying, "Being mild-mannered is a joy"