Please come to Boston for the springtime
and stay until the fall, when the Sox will face their doom.
And you can sell your pretzels on the sidewalk
outside Fenway Park, the Yankees will be coming soon.

Please come to Boston.
She said, "No, would you come home to me?"

And she said,
"Hey, sports-nut boy, why don't you settle down?
Boston ain't your kind of town.
There ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me.
I'm the Number 1 fan of the man from New Jersey."

Please come to Tampa when the snow falls.
We'll do all the rides at Busch Gardens and grab some swimming fins.
And barbecue with Wild Man and Diva
and watch Buccaneers in Playoffs guided by Chris Simms.

Please come to Tampa.
She said, "No, boy, won't you come home to me?"

And she said,
"Hey, sports-nut boy, why don't you settle down?
Tampa ain't your kind of town.
There ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me.
I'm the Number 1 fan of the man from New Jersey."

Now this wise-guy's world goes 'round and 'round
and I doubt if it'll ever make sense.
But for all the dreams I've lost and found
and all of my loose ends
I still need the charity
of fives for my parody.

Please come to San Francisco forever.
This California life alone is just too hard to bear.
The couple upstairs from me just got married
and they've taught me so much about what to eat and what to wear.

Please come to San Fran.
She just said, "No! Boy, won't you come home to me?"

And she said,
"Hey, sports-nut boy, why don't you settle down?
San Fran can't be your kind of town.
There ain't no gold and there ain't nobody like me!
Oh, no.
'Cause I'm the Number 1 fan of the man from New Jersey."

She's the Number 1 fan of the man from New Jersey!