[Daeg Faerch is filming his Young Michael Myers scenes for H2 during the fiddle intro]

**Narrator**
Rob Zombie went down to Georgia
He was looking for a role to steal
Daeg was saying lines
Camera, Rob’s behind
And he was willing to make us squeal

When he came upon Daeg, young man
Playing Michael Myers and playing him tall
Now Rob Zombie’s stumped
To get his Halloween trumped
A new boy named Chase, what the -- what?

**Chase Wright Vanek**
I guess you didn't know it
but I play Michael Myers, too
For you to scare, the Weinstein heirs will make a bet with you

Now you play a pretty good Myers, boy
But give Rob Zombie his due
he’ll pull an Uwe “Crap” Boll
Against your role
'Cause he thinks I'm younger than you

**Daeg Faerch**
Hello there, My name’s Daeg Faerch
My role’s a priceless gem
But I'll take your bet
And you're gonna regret
'Cause I'm the best Young Michael M!

**Bob and Harvey Weinstein (singing in harmony)**
Vanek raise your rubber knife and play your Myers hard
‘Cause hell's broke loose in Georgia, and test screenings we’ll regard
And if you pass, you’re signing on to H2, 3, and 4
But if it fails, then Daeg Faerch gets your role

(Interlude)

**Narrator**
Rob Zombie said the “Action!” word
And he started up the show
“You’re fired!” flew from his flaming lips
‘Fore the Myers got their go

Vanek grabbed a mask, attached the string
And a rocker played by KISS
That’s the band Gene Simmons plays in
And it sounded something like this

[“God of Thunder” guitar riff by KISS, a la the opening scene from Rob Zombie’s “Halloween”]

**Narrator**
When Chase Vanek finished
Daeg Faerch said “Well you're pretty good old son!”

**Daeg Faerch**
Just sit right in that chair right there
And let me show you how it's done

Dr. Loomis accent,
Why so fun(ny)?

**Malcolm McDowell**
The devil walks among, Mike’s an evil one

**Daeg Faerch**
Black is not a color?

**Malcolm McDowell**
Really, no

**Daeg Faerch**
Loomis I go home, right?

**Malcolm McDowell**
No Michael, no

[Interlude -- Daeg Faerch, as Young Michael goes on a profanity-filled tirade in the sanitarium, a la the similar scene in the “Halloween“ remake]

**Narrator**
Rob Zombie sobbed like girl
Because he knew that he'd been beat
And the Weinsteins did the screening
Said that Rob and Chase did cheat

Daeg Faerch fans, appeared just from thin air

**Daeg Faerch fans (to Rob Zombie)**
Don’t you ever pull that stunt again
We done told you once you son of a b**ch
Daeg’s the best there's ever been

**Narrator**
(And Daeg played) Little Michael Myers
Kept his role
Rob Zombie got redeemed, ain’t no Uwe Boll
Daeg-y won an Oscar, Zombie al-SO
Can he repeat MIS-take?

**Rob Zombie**
No hell, no!

[Instrumental to end]