In this parody:

Phi - sounds like - Fee
Pi - sounds like - Pee








It’s hazing time at the fraternity
You have to be flogged to get in
There's a new pledge shaking nervously
Wondering what will happen to him

He asks, "Why must I crawl to that big oak tree
And what is the deal with this rope?
Why do I have to swing with my ass in that sling
And be hit with socks filled with soap?"

ga ga ga, Phi Alpha
ga ga, Pi Pi dah duh dumb


Chorus:
Boy don't you know, you're the piñata man
We're here to cause you strife
And, if you can withstand all our cruelty
Then we will be your brothers for life


And since you're so smart you can be the first
Now get your ass in that sling
And prepare for the worst you might ride in a hearse
That is if you ever stop breathing

He yells, "Wait, my father's a celebrity
And he's got lots of money to waste.
I can get him to buy you a brand new car
If I can get out being hazed."

Oh, ga ga ga, Phi Alpha
ga ga, Pi Pi dah duh dumb

Now call me a sick sadomasachist
But I don't like pledges that whine
And I cannot be bothered, who might be your father
When were just having a good time

And it's been our tradition since who knows when
Though our initiations seem strange
Well, who cares if some mother may take offence
When it's nothing that she'll ever change


Chorus:
Boy tell your mom you're the piñata man
She'll be so proud she'll cry
Now it's all in the game of festivities
Remember when you’re swinging up high


You're a pretty good pledge for a Kennedy
Higher learning has ways to demote
And your fraternity will be like family
Once you have secured enough of our votes

As a piñata you look like a candy ass
Man you really do seem like a queer
As you swing and you sway you are sounding so gay
And scream, "Guys, get me down from here!"


Oh, ga ga ga, Phi Alpha
ga ga, Pi Pi dah duh dumb


Chorus:
Boy look at that you're the piñata man
You look so queer in tights
Well you've paid your dues to our fraternity
Man do you make one hell of a sight