I wasn’t dirty before I went,
Now, there’s a white blob that’s making me quite discontent
That blob is resting right on my hair,
And now I wonder how that blob ended up right there

But now, you’ll mark my words,
I know I saw a bird.
It took a dump, it made that lump,
And left a turd

I now want to take a shower;
That bird just pooped on me.

It was like dipping my hands in clay,
‘Cause I am dirty and filthy, what an awful day.
And now I know what it did with me,
How should I make sure this doesn’t happen easily?

I feel a kind of fear
When any bird comes near
Unsatisfied, I want to hide,
Or I’m done here.

I now want to take a shower;
That bird just pooped on me.
I can’t feel content this hour,
That bird just pooped on me.

I’ve had a few clean strolls in the park,
But now, if I go, the minutes up ahead are dark.
I used to think I was staying clean,
And now that I fear bird poop will intervene

And everything is true,
And none of this is new,
I can’t stay clean, nothing’s pristine,
What can I do?

I now want to take a shower;
That bird just pooped on me.
I can’t feel content this hour,
That bird just pooped on me.
I now want to take a shower;
That bird just pooped on me.
I can’t feel content this hour,
That bird just pooped on me.