Back in my nascent day, my parents were unkind
They gave a name for me that just might blow your mind
My school-age days were kind tough
Was raised up in “the ‘hood”
I used my monogram just wherever I could

Sebastian Egbert Xanthes, but just call me “S.E.X.”
A nerdy name they game me, so please call me “S.E.X.”
Name so wrong,
Half the time most of my folks just spell it wrong
Name so long
How would I find out my own place to belong

So in my younger days, there were no friends who would come near
No kids my age would try, my name would give them fear
I would try to blot it out
But soon I understood
For breaking ice with girls, it really worked out good

So when they meet me, I say “Please just call me 'S.E.X.'
Do you want to know me, call or text me, ‘S.E.X.’”
Ain’t no con
But my own monogram turns them on
Bang a gong!
That’s how I get all my companions

Sebastian Egbert Xanthes, but just call me ‘S.E.X.’
Oh yes my name is wordy, so just call me ‘S.E.X.’
I’m not Juan
Or Elijah or Steve or Byron
I’m the one
I’m so fly, S.E.X., take me on
So much fun
Signed my IRS forms with that one!
Thank you Mom,
And Dad, and how! I must now ramble on.