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Song Parodies -> "The Zipper Took It All"
Original Song Title:
"The Winner Takes It All"
(MP3)Original Performer:
ABBA
Parody Song Title:
"The Zipper Took It All"
Parody Written by:
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd
The Lyrics
Parody writing can be hazardous to your health, take my word for it. There I was at home, quietly and peacefully pondering a couple of rhymes of the under-the-belt kind while at the same time liberating some used caffeine from internal circulation, when suddenly and quite painfully my muse cut me off in midthought to deliver a different bloody angle. Now some may argue that since I'm a man it was my muse that was cut off, and that may be, but I still managed to write this narrative tale about the (no longer) whole thing.
I just had to squawk
Hoping it was untrue
No more squirting free
Now that's history
I'm slain beyond scarred
And the nuts are gone too
No more roll in hay
Nothing to display
The zipper took it all
The hose and both de balls
That piss turned toooo goryyyy
Valedictory
I was first alarmed
Blinking I then stood there
I flunked my future tense
Built now like the Kens
Having there at home
A genitals are gone scare
Gosh I lost my duals
Zipping like a fool
The goods where thrown on ice
To no use (way too sliced)
Yes somehow way down there
I lost something dear
The zipper took it all
Remains are very small
There's nothing much to see
12 inch' history
Don't ask me how I piss
Lest no-one will miss you
Dude I cannot aim
But I'm not a dame
Since I lost my pride
That place you don't go to
So shut up I pray
Jewel jokes' clichéd
Adjudged here on the side
Unlikely I'll now astride
Spectators of my low
Evermore plateau
The time it took my friend
A second poorly spent
A big thing uninstalled
The zipper took it all
I don't want you gawk
Shit happens, I've been had
And in this here land
No more I'll hold my gland
I zipped up unwise
And if you think that's bad
There I've nothing, hence
Now I've normal sense
So you see
The zipper took it aaaaaaaall
The zipper took it aaaaaaaall
That damned zipper
Took it all off
Both the ol' hose
And the balls
Cut to size
Wasn't nice
Down I stare
"Bye-bye dear"
It's been cut off
Don't you boff
Hoping it was untrue
No more squirting free
Now that's history
I'm slain beyond scarred
And the nuts are gone too
No more roll in hay
Nothing to display
The zipper took it all
The hose and both de balls
That piss turned toooo goryyyy
Valedictory
I was first alarmed
Blinking I then stood there
I flunked my future tense
Built now like the Kens
Having there at home
A genitals are gone scare
Gosh I lost my duals
Zipping like a fool
The goods where thrown on ice
To no use (way too sliced)
Yes somehow way down there
I lost something dear
The zipper took it all
Remains are very small
There's nothing much to see
12 inch' history
Don't ask me how I piss
Lest no-one will miss you
Dude I cannot aim
But I'm not a dame
Since I lost my pride
That place you don't go to
So shut up I pray
Jewel jokes' clichéd
Adjudged here on the side
Unlikely I'll now astride
Spectators of my low
Evermore plateau
The time it took my friend
A second poorly spent
A big thing uninstalled
The zipper took it all
I don't want you gawk
Shit happens, I've been had
And in this here land
No more I'll hold my gland
I zipped up unwise
And if you think that's bad
There I've nothing, hence
Now I've normal sense
So you see
The zipper took it aaaaaaaall
The zipper took it aaaaaaaall
That damned zipper
Took it all off
Both the ol' hose
And the balls
Cut to size
Wasn't nice
Down I stare
"Bye-bye dear"
It's been cut off
Don't you boff
© Peter Andersson.
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Voting Results
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 2 | 1 | 2 | ||||||||
| 5 | 21 | 22 | 21 |
User Comments
Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.
Ever seen There's Something About Mary? LOL remidned me of that great job! 555!
The Pork And Beans?!
Very funny, you might even say.... cutting edge! I just saw "Mama Mia" (the musical based on the songs of ABBA) last week so still had the OS bouncing around in the ol' cranium!
Great mix of pain and puns...
I guess that now we will have to call you.....groan...."No Peter Anderson!"
BWAHAHA! Very funny work, Peter, and I could so hear a guy singing this in a high ABBA-type voice. 555.
Matthias: LOL, we thought the same thing!
All I can say is...OUUCHH!!
Good one! So long as it's someone else!
(SOTM) I feel your pain... I feel it... TOO much
brought a lump to my throat (two actually) can't give you 2 nuts but i can give you 3 5s
(SOTM) Wow! A beautiful collection of poetry, pain, humor, and penis jokes. You're lucky your parents didn't name you Richard, 'cause that would be a sad irony. And you're right, too, the zipper does take it all! 555
(SOTM) Great job Chris, his name is Peter so still...
(SOTM) See above, and there is something to be said for plastic zippers and stretch pants. =) Still funny work, Peter.
(SOTM) Oh, great. Thanks a lot, Yoidy! I was gonna say that! But oh no, you had to say it first didn't you? Um...anyway, brilliant (yet painful) parody, K1chyd!
(SOTM) OUCH!! 555 for having the balls to write that...but a bit too graphic for my tastes, personally.
(SOTM) boff???? ha - I think this could be my favourite one of yours ever, Peter, "Yesterdays" included - great sub/idea for the title, and then just lots of bizarre and beautifully paced ideas combining for a great result! - 555
Yeah,Peter thsi is one of my favs of yours too, my fav is probably I Hereby Announce My Candidacy
Someone went out there and won one for the zipper. *ducks*----MM
(SOTM) This is a (family) jewel of a parody, Peter. Simple, unadorned wit of the highest order, and one of my faves of yours. The melancholic tone of the OS just adds to the funniness. If you want a good ABBA parody, you need a Swede! Bravo 555+
Mwahahaha - definitely the most eye-wateringly funny one I've read this month. A cut above, so to speak ;-)
Ouch, funny stuff Peter. Funny, funny parody, but I especially liked:
"A genitals are gone scare/ /Gosh I lost my duals /Zipping like a fool"
Also, I now have a mis-heard lyric inspired by your parody. In the final stanza that only the chorus sings, I swear the first line that they sing sounds like 'so long, weiner'...
"A genitals are gone scare/ /Gosh I lost my duals /Zipping like a fool"
Also, I now have a mis-heard lyric inspired by your parody. In the final stanza that only the chorus sings, I swear the first line that they sing sounds like 'so long, weiner'...
SOTM - Does that make you a "Dancing Queen" now?
There's Something About Mary? =) Funny idea!
LOL your the third persomn who thought of that AND mentioned it,good job! LOL
WE GOT A BLEEDER!!!!!!! LOL
SOTM: That's some dangerous pair of pants you bought. Haven't they been banned in seven countries?
Buttons, my good man, buttons. ;-)
I can't decide on a comment, so I'll let you choose:
(a) Know 1 can hear you scream.
(b) Now you know why I don't wear pants.
(c) Peterrific!
(a) Know 1 can hear you scream.
(b) Now you know why I don't wear pants.
(c) Peterrific!
(SOTY) Now one of my favorite K1 KO's. Sorry it took me months to find this, Peter! 555+++
(SOTY) My crotch hurts, I'll get back to you later. . .I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
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