About myself I’ll sing a song
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
About myself I’ll sing a song
And how my lovers don’t last long
There’s something that I’m doing wrong
Just ask either Mari or Lynne, or Lynne
Just ask either Mari or Lynne

When dating I will lift one cheek
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
When dating I will lift one cheek
And turn to give my gall a peek
Then do something that starts to reek
They run to apply a clothespin, clothespin
They run to apply a clothespin

When going out to get a meal
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
When going out to get a meal
And while I’m ordering the veal
I always try to cop a feel
And points with my date I don’t win, don’t win
And points with my date I don’t win

And when I take them to a flick
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
And when I take them to a flick
I try the age-old popcorn trick
They often find it rather sick
And don’t see the movie begin, begin
And don’t see the movie begin

My date I’ll take out for a ride
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
My date I’ll take out for a ride
“We’re out of gas”, I’ll then confide
And then I’ll try to get inside
That’s why they won’t go for a spin, a spin
That’s why they won’t go for a spin

And when I finally get one home
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
And when I finally get one home
I read them a hand written poem
They call for help on their cell phone
And run for an aspirin, ‘pirin
The run for an aspirin

This is the tale of my love life
Sing rickety duncan-ty din
This is the tale of my love life
Explains why I can’t keep a wife
And why my dates carry a knife
And I get a very bruised shin, bruised shin
Yes, I get a very bruised shin