Song Parodies -> "Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang"

Original Song Title:

"Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band"

Original Performer:

"Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang"

Parody Written by:

The Lyrics

This is my first ever rehash of an older parody (then called "David Beckham's British Cross Ball Gang", in 2006). I figured that since England's National Soccer Team yet again have rehashed their now fifty year long habit of brexiting an International Cup before the final and often in the most embarrasing way possible (this year they were sent home by Iceland after a 1-2 defeat) I really didn't have to exert myself with a fresh take, though I did change "British" to "English" because this time they were also equalled by Ireland and surpassed by Wales.

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.

It's been fifty years since '66
When ol' English Soccer had some kicks
They've been failing every single cup
And they're always ready for a flop
So let my disabuse imbue
Their Sucker Team to loose this year
Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang

They're Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang
They're moving up the ball to slow
Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang
Sit back and watch the field's grass grow
Coach Roy Hodgson's English
Coach Roy Hodgson's English
Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang

A wonder that they are here
They're really not Brazil
And what a lowbrow audience
Too think this year's Cup is for them
Too think this year's Cup's theirs

As tradition bids they'll come to blow
And the manager is way too slow
And the keeper barely scrapes along
And you know that something will go wrong
And then it'll be protrude and rude
The one and only English game
From Coach Roy Hodgson's English Cross Ball Gang

© Peter Andersson. (Full disclosure: The Swedish National Team flopped even harder, but in a shocking display of British logic our Team Captain Zlatan Ibrahimovic was rewarded with a multi million Euro contract to play the next season for Manchester United - They could probably have signed the whole Icelandic National Team for just half of that).

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Red Ant - July 15, 2016 - Report this comment

Heya Peter, long time no see. Hope you are doing well, good to see you still writing. wtf is up with the 1 bombs? some 5s to balance them out.

Peter Andersson - July 15, 2016 - Report this comment

Hi Red Ant! Thanks. I'm guessing there are some disappointed Brits that hit me with 1s - maybe they didn't read the caveat about Sweden and Zlatan bombing out even harder - for the two first games we didn't have a single legit shot towards the other teams' goalzone - not one! - 180 minutes of soccer impotence - probably a European record of sorts.

Peter Andersson - July 15, 2016 - Report this comment

Hmm... maybe I should have written "Zlatan Ibrahimovic's sh*te team" instead, but then I'd have had to rework the first two lines too... hmm... maybe if I'm allowing myself an approximated definition of "twenty":

It's been twenty years since '94
When the Swedish strikers knew to score
Etc

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