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Song Parodies -> "The Ballad Of John And Yoko (if Written By Paul)"

Original Song Title:

"The Ballad Of John And Yoko"

Original Performer:

The Beatles

Parody Song Title:

"The Ballad Of John And Yoko (if Written By Paul)"

Parody Written by:

Alvin Rhodes

The Lyrics

put up with that broad cause we hafta
tryin' to record, but no chance
we laid down no tracks...cause she cuts john no slack
you know we start a tune and they start to dance
christ you know it ain't easy...recording's hard as can be
i wish she was goin'...she sure infuriates me

finally made it plain, i'm embarrassed
johnny, can't you see its insane
she's a clown, i must say...why not toss her away
you could have any girl you wanted, its plain
christ, her hair is so greasy...you know how weird she can be
my anger is growin'....this doesn't satisfy me

its excruciatin' when she is singin'
squawkin' off her head as she shrieks
the critics all said, "it is a voice that we dread
we wish she'd shut her trap and give us some peace"
christ, it makes me feel queasy
you know how shrill she can be
the way she is crowin'...disturbs ol' musical me

took her for your honey, loved her brainy ways
took off all your clothes quite merrily
that night your sense fled...photos have been spread
you made a record cover to behold....whew

got a band but she won't be in it
i wish she'd climb back into her sack
the other two said...she's bad for your head
she hangs around so much, its a drag
christ, we've been so uneasy...we're tryin' hard as can be
the music ain't flowin'...and that's been botherin' me

don't like to complain but i'm gonna
when she swarms i wanna attack
it makes me distressed...and sadly depressed
it'd be so good to have our john back
christ, ain't she ever leavin' ?...i hate her much as can be
suspicion is growin'...you like her better than me
suspicion is growin'...you like her better than

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Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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Arwen - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Funny funny funny! It's a brilliant idea, Alvin...wonderfully executed! "Her hair is so greasy..." LOL!!
John Barry - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
What Arwen said. As written by Marshall McLuhan: Christ, you know painting's easy/I've found that art, as you see/Is anytthing you can/Get away with; look at she.
Tim Hall - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
This parody captures the group's tension at the time to a T.
Michael Pacholek - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
This was great, and it but, in the tradition of ESPN Classic, here's the Top 5 Reasons You Can't Blame Yoko Ono for the Breakup of the Beatles. 5. The times, they were a-changin'. The acts that were popular in the Seventies were less like the Beatles and more like the Rolling Stones. And the acts that tried to be Beatlesque -- such as Badfinger, Boston, Kansas, Emerson, Lake & Palmer, and, of course, Paul's new band Wings -- ended up looking and sounding pretty silly most of the time. 4. Ringo Starr. He quit during the "White Album" sessions in mid-1968, but got talked into staying by John and George. 3. George Harrison. Staying in the Beatles was stifling his creativity. Besides, he also wanted to quit, during the "Let It Be" sessions in early 1969. 2. Maturity. They were between 19 and 22 when they got together, and between 27 and nearly 30 when they split up. And they were all married with children of their own. They took it about as far as it could have gone. 1. Paul McCartney. It's not just that his overbearing control-freakishness nearly convinced Ringo and George to quit. Paul is the one who announced the breakup. The group's official biographer, Philip Norman, wrote that, "John Lennon has found a partner he needs more than he needs Paul McCartney." What this overlooks is that Paul found a partner he needed more than he needed John. And say what you want about Linda Eastman, she was never as weird as Yoko, but her musical skills weren't much better, and Paul put her in his band, too. I'm not blaming Linda, who's no longer alive to defend herself. I'm blaming Paul. He was the one who quit in public, not John.
Rick C - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent idea, perfectly executed. This man is a parody genius! 555+++
Meriadoc - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Hilarious Alvin! Altho' I always felt Yoko got kind of a bad rap. She was undoubtedly the best thing that ever happened to John - too bad he didn't figure it out till it was almost too late... :-(
alvin rhodes - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks arwen john tim michael (good points all...yeah, i realize there was a lot more goin' on with the beatles than yoko, but jiminy...what an easy target...and there's no love lost between her and paul to this day...thanks rick and merry
AFW - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent bit of Beatle spoofoonery
alvin rhodes - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks AFW
2Eagle - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
All else aside, when John got involved with Yoko he just went downhill. If it wern't for her relationship with John she would still be a nobody. As for George, John and Paul were stifling his creativity. He really was the most innovative and talented one in the group and still composed more inspired music on his own - even if he didn't sell as much as John and Paul.
alvin rhodes - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks 2eagle ...you make good points...quite right about george.. well, the world found out what it had been missing when "all things must pass" came out
Peregrin - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent Alvin - as yet another Peregrin idea now gets shelved - waaah - hey ! How come no-one has commented on Ringo's musical genius ? Oh yeah...
alvin rhodes - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks peregrin....sorry if i stepped on your toes...as far as ringo...he was absolutely essential to the group, but not for his drumming
Rex - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
christ, you know this is funny...
Spaff.com - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Irresistible title and typically excellent execution. Personally, though, I lay the blame for the Beatles' breakup on Maureen. FREAKING MAUREEN! IT'S ALL HER FAULT!
TJC - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Excellent stuff, you might say its a Brilliant Beatles Bisection Bio! (and very bingable too!)
Dee Range - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
If we could read Paul's mind, well, what a tale that man could tell. Scary good, alvin...as scary as Yoko looks. A man could get rich selling her face masks at Halloween. I would love to hear this recorded....I bet Rick Cormier could do Paul's voice, and the music too. Send him a PM on the messageboard....
David S. - August 29, 2006 - Report this comment
Liked the lyrics. Now I don't sound much like Paul but it would be funny to record this so I was wondering if I could? It would be great if I could. Thanks
Michael Pacholek - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Well, Maureen's also no longer around to defend herself, Spaff. Pip: If you ever meet Billy Joel, ask him how freakin' great Ringo was. He may be Ringo's biggest fan. He's certainly a bigger Ringo fan than Sir Cute One is.
alvin rhodes - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks rex spaff TJC dee david (i have no problem with anyone recording any of my stuff...feel free to go nuts) and michael
2Eagle - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Yes, I agree with you on Ringo. He has a lot of talent. Have you heard Ringo's All Stars? It's wonderful. He was the strongest solo singer in the group and did much of the solo work. I understand that George was his best friend.
alvin rhodes - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
ringo is currently making the best music of his career...the roundheads are a great band
PMS - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Christ you make it look easy to write a great parody
Meriadoc - August 30, 2006 - Report this comment
Ringo hung around with Marc Bolan. That made him at least way cooler than the other three.... ;-)
Spoof-Man - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
OH, MY..... !!! That was good!
alvin rhodes - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
thanks PMS and spoof man....and you are so right, merry
Peregrin - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
Oh no ! Alvin and Pach - I was misunderstood ! It was no more than an aside. For what it is worth, "Photograph" is one of my fave songs, and it was by the sad one :)
Stuart McArthur - August 31, 2006 - Report this comment
brilliant, alvin - I'm glad I caught this on Latest Comments - just brilliant - 555

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