Sundered My Thumb

Sundered my thumb
When I brought that hammer down.
Sundered my thumb�
I guess I should have learned to pound.

Came down on me�
Missed the nail; hit the knuckle square.
Up my arm the pain had run�
I'd sundered my thumb.

Sundered my thumb
It hurt and throbbed and turned bluish-gray.
Wondered how come
It curled backward?�looked like a "J."

Pain pounded me�in the head,
Like a migraine. . .backward my eyes rolled,
Then came down; pain must be numbed�
Want some opium!

For my bum thumb,
Took Vicodin�that dampened the hurt.
Sundered my tum:
It unsettled my gut and made me hurl.

Came up on me�
Subgum-seafood lunch, Vicodin too,
Rained on me�monsoons had come�
And stuck on my thumb.

Ungummed my thumb
By prying off undigested whelk.
Plundered my rum
And took a shot to steady myself.

Waited three weeks; now I've reflected�
Should have gone to emergency room.
Caused gangrene, the delay�how dumb!
They cut off my thumb.

At least not right!