I wore a green hat to parade for Saint Pat
That was cancelled
The bunny won't hop, 'cause that holiday's dropped
It's been cancelled
Resurrection of Jesus, the season's renewed
Won't happen in April, because of the flu
The stores are all closed and the churches are too
He's been cancelled

Spring training's suspended, things aren't going well
It's confusing
If those thousands weren't dead, the new rules that I read
Quite amusing
A schedule to play, I'm not sure that they can
In a big empty park in the absence of fans
The logic eludes me, but that's who I am
Sports are cancelled

They drive in a pack 'round a wide oval track
That is NASCAR
With corporate signs on the fronts and behinds
Of a fast car
The starting flag drops, there's an unmuffled roar
Someone's counting the laps and someone's keeping score
But the spectators may not attend anymore
They've been cancelled

So says Alice Cooper, the schools will be out
For the summer
The pools have been closed and the price of food rose
Such a bummer
Has the Indy 500 been moved to the fall?
Will NFL football even kick off at all?
Who'll risk the flack he'll take, making that call
He'll be cancelled