Your fault you’re single, got no friend…she hacked your togs an’ fled
So you formed a club called “Gash Days”…with the meetings in your shed
The motion for some action…was passed then you made the call
An’ the whore you phoned was splendid…for she serviced one and all

You hooker buffs are flirty…for the booze you downed was strong
You’re gonna take off for Hamburg…for a prostitute from Hong Kong

The big shock is the strumpet ware…tarts rancid, cor, they’re sour
But your friends, they don’t want crack whores…for they’re mingin’, they don’t shower
An’ them whores will all blow any tool…their wares ain’t worth a dime
An’ your horn will need a rudder…to go up through all the slime

Your hooker, duff an’ thirty…but the queues have caused a throng
You’re better off out of Hamburg…for these older ones look like Kong

Your hooker, gruff an’ shirty…but you choose to place your dong
You’re better off out of Hamburg…for this prostitute’s so wrong

Ah, them hooker muffs are dirty…what they ooze will leave a pong
You’re better off out of Hamburg…coz she’ll overflow ‘fore too long