I split, my pants I fear;
So I now hide behind a curtain.
My wife, I said "Oh, dear..",
Please sew my seams, use thread that's certain.
I've grown a butt that's full.
It covers each and ev'ry walk way;
Make way, not hard to miss,
It's just my wide ways.

Veggies, I've ate a few;
My gas increased toxic invention.
I stopped, no more gasses flew.
Gained more weight, for your nose redemption.
I squashed my riding horse;
They found him flat right on the highway,
Butt's more, then Rex could lift,
He felt my wide ways.

Yes, many times, my pants' seams blew,
I'm starting to get King Kong's rear view.
Doors through our house, are sized for stout,
Widened up, when the wood blew out.
I fixed our halls, now like a mall;
To take my wide ways.

My end, no end in sight.
Please don't sit near; hip bumps are bruising.
My feet, have seen no light,
Walk the line sounds so confusing.
Buffet, I ate all that;
Desserts my way - my chair legs just pray,
"Please, try to hold me,
and support wide ways".

Allow for my can, I have a lot.
Please don't go near, you might get caught.
I hear a sound, what is that squeal?
Is that the cat, got butt kill feel.
My feet now show, I crushed my toes -
All from my wide ways!