Now, Russkies and Canucks both live near my home
and I know a song 'bout Albania and chrome[1]
which proves, folks, re foreign relations, I know’em.
If McCain croaked I’d captain smooth sailin’
thru’ rough seas on a ship of state buoyant as stone.
Folks, it’s time for Sarah Palin!

What critics insist is “a crock of lies,” my friend,
is merely the meaningless sum of my trend
of making misstatements re things I’ve not kenned
plus a smidgen of harmless truth-veilin’.
A gal’s gotta do what a gal must to win
and it’s time for Sarah Palin!

Tho’ pundits and pols and plain citizens all
by my wide-ranging ignorance oft are appalled,
by the First Lady, Laura, “quick study” I’m called
and that’s hardly her half-hearted hailin’.
You betcha I’m ready to carry the ball,
for it’s time for Sarah Palin!

Moms, Dads, tho’ my daughter’s knocked up, understand,
I still say sex ed should stay in parents’ hand
without meddlin’ from schools or from Parenthood ® (Planned).
It isn’t home sex ed that’s failin’,
but brats who flout Mama’s “Don’t do it!” command.
Folks, it’s time for Sarah Palin.

Maligners are cawin’ and cursin’ this lass,
and showin’ how I’ve behaved like an ass.
As Vice Prez, oh, how I’d love laughin' last
but my borderline chances are ailin’,
as perverse voters now and later amass
sayin’ "time’s up, Sarah Palin!”