With his mercury lynx on a Texas interstate,
And his tailpipe smoke creating ozone haze,
And his silver hair, and Hank Williams tapes,
Hogging up the left lane so they can't get by him?
With his pockets well depleted at last,
And his Town Car relic which he drives on the grass,
With his radio blaring, and his tinted glass,
Who in their right mind thinks they should let his drive?
Daddy drives just like an old man,
He's so determined to let no one by,
Bi-focaled eyes, no, they can never lie,
Always trying to make 'em wait,
Oh, slow-poke daddy makes 'em wait!

With his shocks worn out and his belts too loose,
And his rear end sagging, he looks so obtuse.
And his tailpipe chokes every passer-by,
Who among them can think they would let him drive?
With his brights turned on when the sunlight dims,
Into your eyes, it's a mortal sin!
And his radio blares lots of corny tunes,
This could really make you sing the blues!
Daddy drives just like an old man,
He's so determined to let no one by,
Bi-focaled eyes, no, they can never lie,
Always trying to make 'em wait,
Oh, slow-poke daddy makes 'em wait!

His worn-out tires with their loose hubcaps,
Are borrowin' time before they all go flat,
And you wouldn't know one could drive like this,
But it seems he really wants just to piss you!
His carburetor puffs out its last gasps,
But he's determined not to give it gas.
He's too cheap to buy a few spark plugs,
It's funny how he barely misses you!
Daddy drives just like an old man,
He's so determined to let no one by,
Bi-focaled eyes, no, they can never lie,
Always trying to make 'em wait,
Oh, slow-poke daddy makes 'em wait!

Oh, the farmers and the businessmen, that's how they drive!
You begin to wonder how they stay alive.
But why do they always beg you to sympathize?
Oh, why don't they ever lose their licenses?
They wished you'd accept the way they hog the road,
But with the gas at your feet and the next lane finally clear,
And the gearshift feels like such power in your hands,
How could any decent person ever blame you?
Daddy drives just like an old man,
He's so determined to let no one by,
Bi-focaled eyes, no they can never lie,
Always trying to make 'em wait,
Oh, slow-poke daddy makes 'em wait!

With his jalope dragging down I-35,
He thinks that refers to the maximum speed!
And your patience is gone, because you can't drive so slow,
Why would anyone want him to hold them up?
Now you push down your feet before the guy behind
Closes off the next lane just to be a jerk,
And your whip out fast and you start to pass,
And now two boors proceed to flip you off!
Daddy drives just like an old man,
He's so determined to let no one by,
Bi-focaled eyes, no they can never lie,
Always trying to make 'em wait,
Oh, slow-poke daddy makes 'em wait!