Oh what have you done, my fair haired gal?
Oh what have you done, my ditzy young pal?
You've fixed your computer screen typos with whiteout
You've locked yourself in the car with yourself in it
You've been dancing with taps from the kitchen sink plumbing
You think TGIF means that your toes go in first
You use a compressor when your head needs a refill
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard
And it's a hard life for a blonde

Oh, what did you eat, my light-haired gal?
Oh what did you say, my giddy young pal
You like M&Ms but won't eat the W's
You wash hair for hours, the shampoo label says re-peat
You crawl across the street when the sign says "Don't Walk"
You won't use "the Pill" because it keeps falling out
You cringe when they ask if you've been picked up by the fuzz
You cry when your license says you got an "F" in sex
Got lipstick on the steering wheel blowing the horn
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard
And it's a hard life for a blonde

And what do you hear, my bleach-haired gal?
And what do you hear, my bimbo young pal?
You heard safe sex involves locking the car door
You heard drinks were on the house so you climbed on the roof
You fell out of the tree when you were raking leaves
You woke up in the morning and then you went home
You stare at the juice cause it said "concentrate"
You used acupuncture to treat hemophilia
You wore earmuffs all day just to keep out the draft
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard
And it's a hard life for a blonde

And what did you see, my air- haired gal?
Oh what did you see, my dimwitted pal?
You saw donut seeds in a box of cheerios
You saw a flash of lightning then stood there and posed
You climbed over the window to see the other side
You shot an arrow into the air but somehow you missed
You won a skating gold medal and then had it bronzed
You stayed up all night studyin' for a urine test
You drink with a straw just to keep in good practice
And it's a hard, and it's a hard, it's a hard, and it's a hard
And it's a hard life for a blonde

Oh, what'll you do next, my dumb-ass gal?
Oh what'll you do next, my mini-brain pal?
You took two hits of acid just to go on a round trip
You wore earmuffs all day just to keep out the draft
You sent off a fax and included the stamp
You became a veterinarian because you loved children
You put lipstick on your forehead to make up your mind
You went to drink milk but got crushed by the cow
You tiptoe past drugs to let sleeping pills lie
You have holes in your face from eating with forks

So we tell these old jokes and we mock the light-headed
They're so darn easy to fool and so easily bedded
And we'll try them in nightclubs until they start laughin'
And I'll learn every joke from all sources be liftin'
Yes, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard life for a blonde