Each night when it's time to lie down
My mind goes so crazy... Watching killer clowns
I saw Kevin Smith down a cow
Like an Anaconda... And other visions freak me out

Played t-ball... With demons from Hell
My gut blew... From too much Taco Bell
All my dreams... Might make me wet the bed
Seen a dentist who's pissed

Crazed ghouls dismembered me,
Beat a toucan at chess,
Then lost Russian Roulette, Dang!
Mad chimps just stole my Jeep
Next I wrestled a hen
Every night I'm having my...
Wildest dreams, ah-ha ohhh...
Wildest dreams, ah-ha ohhh...

In bed... My cranium has come unglued
Each eve a new nightmare... Has filled me full of gloom
Where I'm torn apart by war-hounds
Or stuffed into a blender... Since I'm a cannibal's chow

Hit the mall with some drug cartels
Bought some slacks in some lovely pastels
That snake is plaid... And he looks quite pissed
I heard his migh-ty hiss

That dark Dementor's peeved
Caught me groping her chest
That's what made her upset, Dang!
Huge ships of pirate geeks
Played dungeons and dragons
'Stead of pillaging the shore...
Wildest dreams, Ah-ha ooh...
Wildest dreams, Ah-ha ooh...

Weird crap's in my mind's eye
Mangled images in sight
Making... me... frown...
Saw strange stuff while sleeping
Here's just a summ'ry
Of... what... I found...

Jumped right off the high-dive
In a vat of goo that's lime
Wearing... a... gown...
Some visions are creepy
Haunted by zombies
Up... from... the ground (Up... from... the ground...)

I sprouted some feathers, Eeek!
That was just a headdress
But my hands are now webbed, Dang!
Took trips to Ancient Greece
Fire-breathing lions
Cooked me just like a baguette

Chased by anemones
Gave a speech while undressed
Then drowned in my own sweat, Dang!
Bit chips and heard them shriek
Every dusk I lament
Seeing these scenes while I snore (They offend, they offend)
Wildest dreams, Ah-ha ooh...
They're my wildest dreams, Ah-ha ooh...
(At the gay club I saw Thor... Wildest dreams, Ah-ha)
They're my wildest dreams, Ah-ha...