Neighbors over here tonight
No biting
She’s got a reputation man
No biting
No biting

It’s smoking! It’s smoking!

I never really thought about cooking like this
She microwaves noodles until they fizz
Sets alarm off
Something’s burning
Tostada
Fried pasta

Oh baby, when you cook like that
You make everyone get mad
It’s smoking
It’s burning
You leave marks in the microwave that won’t come clean

No, please don’t try
Chips will fry, no matter how hard you try
Attemption
Attention
Burned it down to a crisp in the oven

Hey girl, I can see our dinner burning
Drives us all crazy
At night, you can see it across the room
Until it burns all the way out
Cremated a perfectly good casserole
The way you type that time in girl
You think you might actually remember it
But evidently not

I never really knew that you would cook like this
Oh well, so much for our wedded bliss
You cooked cilantro
One hour
No timer set
Nothing left

Oh baby, when you cook like that
You make my meals come back
I’m coughing
I’m gagging
I’m leaving to go order a pizza

No, please don’t try
Chips will fry, I’m starting to make you choke
Let’s go
Encendo
Burned it down to a crisp no es bueno

Oh no, please don’t try
Chips will fry, I hate when you cook this way
It’s fizzin’
The kitchen
Burned it till it looks like a pitch in

Oh no! I can see the oven smoking
There goes the meatloaf
I hope you know what you’re doing
No recipe in hand
No skill, it starts baking
Uh oh, firemen! firemen!
Man oh man, there goes our kitchen again
I’ll have to pay the bill again

Burning all of our food up
You really need to learn to cook
Singed charbroiled turnips
You even did in a cheesecake

I never really knew that you’d make such a mess
Whatever happened to the asparagus?
Charcoal asada
Not neat-a
Que pasa?
It’s ash sauce

Oh baby, when you cook like that
You make our meals turn black
I’m swooning
I’m fainting
I’d rather get a lobotomy

Incinerated
To a charcoal
I’d rather get my dinner out of the gutta

Oh!
Call 911!

Here is a nice bowl of roasted salad
Yuck! I will never sit down and eat

She destroys everything that she cooks, I’d rather eat scraps from a junk heap, all the time her food drives me crazy, she’s so bad I called the FDA, they said there’s nothing they can do, apparently they haven’t tasted her food or they’d put her out of action, she treats that oven like a fireplace, when she cooks that oven smokes smokes.

No, please don’t try
Chips will fry, you’ll have to let it soak
What’s that glow?
Uh oh!
Burned up a good load of pesto

No, please don’t try
Chips will fry, I’m starting to feel faint
Reduction
Attention
Disaster right there in the kitchen

It’s frightening It’s frightening It’s frightening It’s frightening
Not again…