(verse one):
Pink elephants walkin' 'round me
locked in a world only I can see
each time I drink, my barf says hi
and it goes all down my fat thigh
Gin and tonic is doing things in me
mixed with tequila and rum, now I've gotta pee
See I've thrown up, I need some plain coffee
I've vowed to never touch the drink, If I can help it

(chorus):
I've dremant about a drink that's a mix of salsa that's mild
and a hint of a cieling wax, that is so wild
And someone's stomach bile
throw in a pinch of toenail clippings
You have the drink of my liquor dreams
(my liquor dreams)

(verse two):
Jegermeister to drink in my most boring state
it is hard to keep down my large weight
Malt liquor is the best when it is the test
but, Budweiser does beat the rest
Gin and tonic is doing things in me
mixed with tequila and rum, now I've gotta pee
See I've thrown up, I need some plain coffee
I've vowed to never touch the drink, If I can help it

(chorus):
I've dremant about a drink that's a mix of salsa that's mild
and a hint of a cieling wax, that is so wild
And someone's stomach bile
throw in a pinch of toenail clippings
You have the drink of my liquor dreams
(my liquor dreams)

(bridge):
Beer almost frozen, that's got to be the best way to drink it
from the freezer
My mom calls me a liar, my friends call me a miser
see, my ulcer's getting bigger, but I don't really care, man
Ow!
Liquor dreams, my liquor dreams
vomit, piss, and screams, these liquor dreams

(chorus):
I've dremant about a drink that's a mix of salsa that's mild
and a hint of a cieling wax, that is so wild
And someone's stomach bile
throw in a pinch of toenail clippings
You have the drink of my liquor dreams
(my liquor dreams)
[3x's]