Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Calories"

Original Song Title:

"Gallery"

Original Performer:

Mario Vazquez

Parody Song Title:

"Calories"

Parody Written by:

Matthias

The Lyrics

DKTOS??????? Here's the Youtube Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-s8_LlQ6BIA
Foooooooooooooooood
Flow!

Foooooooooooooooood
Faaaaaaaat…
Flow!

You broke your belt
When you ate box full-a doughnut holes
Gut is shaking, and so much more
She wobbles in the room
Stomach's exposed

See her makes you want to drop bacon
No boyfriend, don't like jellyroll
Pizza slice is soon dismissed whole
To jump those folds is my one goal
Yes, I choose to sleep with her, Fatty

Yeah, I'd like to honey up her rolls
Yeah, I'd like some seasons to go put on
Then, to not be crude, baste chicken breasts with homemade juice
And girl you're just way too fine
I'll go and set my mixer onto grind
Tell me love is blind
I'd love to eat you and Pork Rinds

Because…

I… can't… take
Seeing you in Gym
Cause I know exactly what you think
"Must cut calories!"

Weight to spare
But the biggest weight's your heart
I love to stalk you through Mini-Mart
Don't cut calories!

She's not amused
She knows that less is much more
Must lose her tum to be adored
But my hunny sure loves her S'mores
She really tries to get into Hunk's view

Girl… don't have inner fight
"No!"
You're are always in my sight
After he's done making you slight
"Grow!"
You're average whore, scrawny prostitute

Baby's looking like Anna Nicole
Tell what's the reason that you lose all
The fat that made you, you
Working for those Playboy Model dudes
And girl's now the size of twine
Every guy says, "Looking fine!"
Don't you want to dine?
On things other than root vines

I… Can't… Take
Seeing you this thin
While you enjoy being skinny
Cutting calories

In… Despair
Babe, You freaking broke my heart
You're another scrawny, little tart
Cutting calories

Once had Masterpiece
On all your beef
Three chairs held your booty
Then models corrupted you
Ads had made you want that too
Beautiful bulimic hoes
These were the girls that ate and blow…

Have some cake!!!
Stop being so slim!!!
Cause I know exactly what you eat
Zero calories

Eat éclair!!!
Or this bag full of Sweetarts!!!
Cause you have a Scale Chart…

Ooooooh, Noooooo…

Timberlake
Asked you to go date him
It's just because you're now skinny
Without Calories

I don't care!!!
Spotted girl, leaving car
Munching on a few large candy bars
Eating calories!!!
Eat those calories!!!!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Bri - March 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Nice job =)

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2000s/mariovazquez0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1241