Soup that's sweet and hot for Christmas
That's the thing we really need
Save your money on the presents
We ain't got no Christmas tree
Leave the Goy's tonight alone
Find a menu, grab the phone
It's tradition too
Chinese food on Christmas with Jews

Soup that's sweet and hot for Christmas
That's the thing we really need
Save your money on the presents
We ain't got no Christmas tree
Chinese Palace will be rocking
If you're coming that's the place
Guarantee we'll all be happy
Until it's time to see who pays

Have the place to all our own
Kim the owner we all know
It's tradition too
Chinese food on Christmas with Jews

We will eat too much this Christmas
Chicken Lo Mein or Kung Pao, and no
While we eat - anticipating
To the movies we will go

Reservations don't forget it
PF Chang's will fill up quick
Alka-Seltzer you should take
And pray we don't all end up sick

So hold that MSG tonight
Steam those dumplings oh so right
Fortune cookies too
Oh, Baby Chinese food on Christmas with Jews

All the wives kvetching
Come on pull up a chair
And the smell of Szechuan
Chicken fills the air

The waiters now are bringing
The Duck Sauce we'll be slinging
Waiter won't you bring me
Some water 'cause it's free
Won't you please bring it baby to me quickly

Try the Asian pot for Christmas
Says the guy who's at the door
Noodles with the corn that's baby
Chef's Delight we'll have for sure

Find a menu, grab the phone
Peking Duck so watch the bones
Moo Goo Gai Pan too
Baby Chinese food at Christmas with Jews