It's time to face it
Put 'em on and stop your farting
Wife has been wiping
Your pubic hair
Don't try to shake it
Slip on in [be]fore you're departed
Save all the scrubbin'
Before she swears

When you suffer the runs
And you're feeling it slide
Your bowels defeat you
But won't excrete to defile

Without Depends
You'll find it coming out the other side
So wear your Depends
You'll fin'ly have yourself a good time

Wake up and quake it
You just made a contribution
Be glad this time
You'll keep this pair
If you're anally inflamed,
Then have some of this pink solution
Or buddy, bet that they're gonna stare

When you felt it pass by
Just look down to your thighs
But it won't reach you
Just let it smear with a smile

Yeah yeah yeah

[2x]
Without Depends
You'll find it coming out the other side
So wear your Depends
You'll fin'ly have yourself a good time

[2x}
Without Depends
You'll find it coming out the other side
And without Depends
You better break out all the two-ply

Wear your Depends

Yeah yeah yeah

And without Depends

You better break out all the two-ply

[2x]
Without Depends
You'll find it coming out the other side

So wear your Depends