Where is your father when you need him the most?
You cannot believe he’s wearing lip gloss
What’s wrong with your father, what do you say
He watches soap operas and Rachel Ray
Why is he so intrigued by brawn?

He likes to cry when he watches his shows
He’s found a new meaning in pretty rainbows
He waxes his legs until they shine
Can’t get enough of Desperate Housewives
And Brokeback Mountain turns him on

‘Cause you found out Dad’s gay
He wears a night gown
He hits up the gay bars all over town
He thinks you don’t know
But the panties don’t lie
Fashion and style seems to take up his time
You found out Dad’s gay
He likes other guys
You cannot guess how but you’re afraid to ask why
You found out Dad’s gay
You found out Dad’s gay

He talks about cute guys all day
The trouble is they all tend to be gay
Your dad’s testosterone is gone

‘Cause you found out Dad’s gay
He wears a night gown
He hits up the gay bars all over town
He thinks you don’t know
But the panties don’t lie
Fashion and style seems to take up his time
You found out Dad’s gay
He likes other guys
You cannot guess how but you’re afraid to ask why
You found out Dad’s gay
You found out Dad’s gay

Sometimes your dad gives you a wink
But you’re afraid to say it’s wrong
He throws you on your back and you know
Your father is gay, but he’s still too strong
And he likes it wrong

Where are the cops when you need them the most?
Then you find
You cannot believe they’re wearing lip gloss

‘Cause everyone’s gay
We all wear night gowns
We hit up the gay bars all over town
We think we don’t know
But our panties don’t lie
Fashion and style seems to take up our time
‘Cause everyone’s gay
We like other guys
We cannot guess how but we’re afraid to ask why
‘Cause everyone’s gay
‘Cause everyone’s gay