Zant used to rule the world.
But, of course, someone deterred.
That stereotypical guy in green.
No, the one who’s not heard but seen.

Zant used to hold the reins.
Keep resistances locked in chains.
As Link headed toward Hyrule
He thought, “This guy’s no threat, this guy’s a fool.”

The minute Link crossed the line,
Zant began his vile design.
Yes, his Shadow Beasts were way deformed.
But Link had his Triforce, then he transformed.

Midna came and set Wolf Link free
And criticized him immediately.
She only helped when she wanted, darn it.
Sometimes she looked like evil incarnate.
It must tricky for her to floss.
You sure she’s not the final boss?
Yes, it is a bit absurd,
but that was when Zant ruled the world.

Yes, they journeyed through the wild and weird.
Randomly, Shadow Beasts appeared.
And dungeons always where they least expect.
Finding keys, maps, and more stuff to collect.

Helped some man with sixty souls.
And succeeded in his goals
To bring light back to the many lands.
And get Hyrule and such out of Zant’s hands.

Colin was a brave gir-, I mean boy.
The mailman’s a prime target to destroy.
That worthless slingshot was never used.
The Oocas were blatantly abused.
And for some reason that’s left untold
The best shield’s owned by a three-year old
Yes, it’s a bit absurd,
But that was when Zant ruled the world.

And Ganondorf was, of course, behind it.
The Triforce, they didn’t need to find it.
Zant stole Fused Shadows, wanted Midna dead.
Though didn’t take that one that’s on Midna’s head.
Though Zelda disappeared from image,
She still was captured and held hostage.
Yes, it’s very absurd,
But that was when Zant ruled the world.