Woohoohoo
Woohoohoo

Debbie just hit the wall
she never had it all
No AT&T
husbands a PHD
And she died on the floor
when she turned ninety-four
only been with one man
which was fine back then

She was gonna be an actress
she was gonna be a star
she was gonna ride on
the first roller coaster cart
her rusted horse buggy is now the enemy
looks at her average life
and nothing has been alright since

Bess Truman, Fern Foster
way before Mike Myers
there was Paul Frank and Rae Ford
and jazz still on the radio
her grandkids in preschool
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupied
with 18, 18, 1885

Woohoohoo
(1885)
Woohoohoo

She saw all the classics
she knew every line
to every single play,
that William Shakespeare wrote
she knocked out her man
as she installed her fan
thought she’d get a hand
with her housekeeping plan

Where’s the long dress made of velvet?
And who’s the other guy that's playing as the Phantom?
When did reality become fantasy?
What ever happened to doctors performing
(appendectomies?)

Bess Truman, Fern Foster
way before Mike Myers
there was Paul Frank and Rae Ford
and jazz still on the radio
her grandkids in preschool
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupied
with 18, 18, 1885

Woohoohoo

She hates time make it stop
when did “Let it Snow” become classic rock?
And why did Ford become president?
Please make this stop, stop,
Stop!
And bring back

Bess Truman, Fern Foster
way before Mike Myers
there was Paul Frank and Rae Ford
and jazz still on the radio
her grandkids in preschool
they tell her that she’s uncool
cuz she's still preoccupied
with 18, 18, 1885